So here we are…..6 rounds deep in fertility treatment. Is this what i expected? No. Did I think I would be pregnant by now? Yes. I wasn’t one of the lucky ones this time round. When I first started with my journey I had heard so many stories of people, both close to me and distant, that got pregnant on the first round! I had so much hope that this would be us, I mean it has already been a long year for us. Unfortunately we weren’t so lucky, here we are six months later still not pregnant….

Background story on getting to this point

I guess this is relevant to the story. My husband is a couple of years older than me so after a few years together all of his friends were well and truly into their journey of parenthood. My husband asked me if I would be ready to start a family. At this stage we were not engaged so I said to him I wanted to at least be engaged before starting a family. Fast forward a few months and we are engaged and planning our wedding. We decided a few months before said wedding that we would start trying, we didn’t care if we would be pregnant at the wedding. Once stopping contraception I discovered that my little monthly visitor was quite shy and just did not want to show her face. I started to get concerned, I mean that is so not normal….even I know that! I visited my doctor, who suggested I go back on the pill to regulate it!! UM WHAT??! (Disclaimer: I have never liked my doctor very much). He told me to go away and see what happens over the next few months (*sigh*). Anyway fast forward a couple of months and I finally get a period (3 days worth), that counts right?! Wrong! Fast forward another two months and nothing again. This time I return to the doctor and share with him that we are well into the midst of trying for a baby but I know it is not normal to not get a period! He finally listens and decides that it is quite major (Duh!) so instantly refers me for blood tests to get referred to a specialist. The catch…..I need to get a period (Fml…) as the tests need to be on day 2 of cycle. Now I wait (I mean who can be so desperate to get a period, I know a lot of people would be very pleased to not have to worry about this!). Three months go by and we are just heading off on our honeymoon, literally about to board the plane and guess who shows up?! You guessed it, I waited three months and she decides to come on my HONEYMOON!!! Well I was pissed off. No blood test for me…..So here I am needing to wait another three months before she shows again. Six months of my life I feel that were wasted waiting for a fricken period! Thankfully this meant that Our referral to a specialist was quite fast, but we needed to choose public or private. Private we would have to pay per appointment and treatment option, public we wouldn’t. Private we would be seen immediately, public we would wait for at least a few months. We decided that financially we are in a position to pay so chose the fast track option.

Long story short: We see a Doctor, I get diagnosed with Polycystic Ovaries, we get sent away with a prescription for Letrozole 2.5mg and a lot of hope and excitement. We had a good shot, it was only me with the issues! Well that was short lived. My doctor leaves, I have no new doctor for a few months so rely on nurses to give me the next step via the phone. We then get assigned a new doctor who was actually amazing and we get four rounds of 7.5mg to try. Now anyone that knows me, knows I am the biggest planner. I always have to know the next step and what is worst case. In the doctors words “If you do not conceive in the four rounds, we will investigate your uterus and tubes further.”

Fast forward to today and I am counting down the days to our next appointment….four negative pregnancy test months later. Announcements of other people’s pregnancies (firsts, seconds and thirds) coming in thick and fast! Heartbreak growing by the day. People around me who are pregnant but spend their time complaining about how hard it is and how over it they are. This is the worst…..I am so happy for people who get pregnant, I mean I still grieve for myself and how that is still not us. But I just feel that some people have no idea how lucky they are to be given this gift! I know I haven’t been pregnant so I can’t speak for how it feels and changes your body etc, but you are getting the gift of life and honestly some people can’t even get that far! Anywho my list of questions for the doctor has grown, as has my fear about what investigating my uterus and tubes will look like (Does anyone else think that sounds super invasive?). I think once I know if everything else is normal then we can carry on…..either way we will get a plan to move forward. Bring on Baby B!

Anywho my list of questions for the doctor has grown, as has my fear about what investigating my uterus and tubes will look like (Does anyone else think that sounds super invasive?). I think once I know if everything else is normal then we can carry on…..either way we will get a plan to move forward. Bring on Baby B!